‘Work-life balance is a lie’: TIAA’s CEO broke down at a bus terminal after a long work day, then found a better way to think about it

TIAA President and CEO Thasunda Brown Duckett now looks at her life as a “diversified portfolio” and says it’s set her up for success.

Many professionals struggle with chasing work-life balance—TIAA President and CEO Thasunda Brown Duckett was one of them, until a breakdown in a bus terminal over her intense schedule gave her an epiphany.

“Work-life balance is a lie. It never reconciles…so get rid of that,” Duckett recalled the wakeup moment in Fortune’s Titans and Disruptors of Industry podcast with Editor-in-Chief Alyson Shontell.

Her mindset shift came one night during her nearly nine-year tenure at JPMorgan Chase, where she rose to become CEO of Chase Consumer Banking. Her intense workdays were sandwiched between long commutes to New York City from New Jersey, leaving little time for family outside her office life. 

Duckett was waiting for the last bus of the day at Port Authority, watching as stragglers headed to the casino and the janitor cleaned up for the night, when the pressure hit a breaking point. 

In tears, she called her husband to vent about never seeing her kids before or after work. And her husband—a stay-at-home father, marine, and engineer—delivered a perspective-shifting response: “then quit.” 

He reasoned with her that if her current situation wasn’t working for her, then it wouldn’t work for the family either. And thanks to his bluntness, something clicked. 

“It was in that moment that something had to change, and it was my mindset,” the TIAA leader said. “And so this work-life balance, I was catching an L [loss]. I was feeling like I was failing my husband, I was failing my children, I was failing my mom, my dad, my brothers, everyone. I was just not winning, and I needed a win.”

That realization has impacted how she’s moved throughout her career since. After letting go of the fight for work-life balance, her success only continued to grow; in 2021 she was tapped to be the CEO of a Fortune 100 company, retirement planning giant TIAA.

Duckett’s secret to managing all responsibilities: A ‘diversified portfolio’ mindset

Leaders of billion-dollar businesses each have their own philosophies around work-life balance, and the CEO of the financial services giant is no different. Brown Duckett came up with her own strategy: rather than striving to give every area of her life equal attention, she now thinks of her time and energy like investments that must be allocated intentionally.

“This diversified portfolio shift—because I am in finance—changed everything,” Duckett said on the Fortune podcast. “If you live your life like a diversified portfolio, you tell yourself the truth. You only have 100%, you do not have 110%. The other truth is that you allocate to the things that define who you are.”

Duckett makes sure to allocate energy to the relationships and responsibilities that matter most. 

As a philanthropist, mother, sister, aunt, wife, and executive, she is constantly pulled in different directions. Now, she recognizes that splitting up her time also means no one gets to have all of her. 

The 52-year-old leader says even her children don’t receive 100%—realistically, they can only get 30% after subtracting sleep, work, and school from their schedules. And instead of feeling guilty about not being able to invest more time with them, Duckett accepts her limitations and says it even allows her to show up more intentionally. 

“By recognizing that they only have 30%, I’m a more present mother by living my life like a diversified portfolio, just like market volatility,” Duckett continued. “Life will life, and you will have life volatility.”

Living by that mindset has also made her a better daughter and sister, the TIAA chief said. And that’s because she’s no longer burdened by the anxiety of having to give 100% to everyone all the time. Everything that matters to her is still in her portfolio—just now, she allows her time and attention to sway in response to market or life conditions. 

“I give myself a ton of grace,” Duckett said. “If you live your life like a diversified portfolio instead of trying to reconcile work and life, you will outperform this thing called life.”

This story was originally featured on Fortune.com